Accepting Boundaries: Preserving Freedom While Being a Force of Change

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“You can preserve someone’s freedom and be a force of change for them as well.”

As many of you know, I am completing grad school and it has been a delicious experience. I have had the opportunity to sit under many wise men and women and the program I am in directly mentors your Character Structure for all 22 months.

This program has been hard and lovely.

And while the feedback portion has not always been my favorite, I have learned to “embrace the suck” and push to be open and allow the feedback to grow my person.

The particular quote above came from Dr. John Townsend during a recent class. He is an individual I hear from monthly during my grad school studies.

This quote is really challenging. What does it look like to do both things well? To accept someone’s freedom to choose their own path forward, and at the same time, give advice and challenge that helps them keep moving forward. It almost seems to be conflicting information.

To begin, what does it look like to preserve someone’s freedom? 

To learn to preserve someone’s freedom looks like not overstepping my boundaries. It looks like asking for permission to speak. It looks like knowing someone well enough to know their history. It looks like not stepping into the parent/child role. It looks like releasing control. It looks like trusting them to make a good or bad decision without it ruining the love you have for them. It looks like not thinking that a person accepting your advice equals respect. It looks like letting go of the need to be heard and seen.

To be a “force” for a person means having courage. 

To be a force, one must have the courage to speak, think, and challenge. It means one would need to earn the right to speak and to speak in the right timing. It means that a person feels ready to hear the information and ready to accept the challenge. It means the person is open and we are equipped with the knowledge to inspire and challenge. It means that we love and care for the person deeply and see their challenges as obstacles and not a part of their character. It means we see potential in them that we want to encourage. It means that we don’t see the person as our project.

There is a great deal of tension in holding two diabolically separate ideas together in one space. And there is so much that goes before this conversation can even begin. This is the challenge for me.

Within this month’s blog and newsletter (link coming soon), I will challenge you to accept boundaries from others, while also being a force of change in their lives where appropriate. I will also provide multiple resources and helpful topics for each. I hope you enjoy and find it beneficial.

Need help getting started? Contact me today. Let’s Begin.

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